Breakfast From America 2 - 1/8

Hello chums,

Firstly, I must correct an error from last week and provide my suggested
cocktail first so that you may enjoy it in its true context in association
with my words.

AVAST BEHIND.

Summertime is definitely the best time for buccaneering so refresh yourself
with something a little better than navy rum and seawater.

1oz light rum
1oz gold rum
(For both of these, Puerto Rican is best, Don Q if you can get it.)
Pineapple Juice
Limeade.

Pout the rums into a tall glass full of ice and top with equal amounts of
pineapple juice and limeade. Serve with a spliced main brace.

I must send sincerest commiserations to all of you poor fellows back in
Blighty. I hear you‚ve been putting up with quite a heat wave. Fear not,
friends, though I am far away Gideon is amongst you. July and August here in
the jolly old S.E U.S of A are proving to be insufferably hot. Not only must
I put up with all this Fahrenheit and Celsius tomfoolery, but it is proving
too hot to think, let alone pursue the answers to mathematical conversion
problems.

I have, however found a suitable solution to my conundrum and I suggest you
try something similar. My manservant, Weng, is doubling as a punkawallah to
cool my fevered brow. Without his frenzied fanning and this weeks cocktail
suggestion, I should have gone quite mad. There is a world surplus of people
with nothing constructive to do and an excess of heat, so why not put those
less fortunate than yourself in your employ as a fanboy/girl, eunuch or
driving your APC (antiquated portable cocktailery.) People these days, it
seems, are quite happy to work for a couple of guineas and a kick in the
ankle a day and your employ would provide far more for their self respect
than handing out leaflets or wearing directions to golf sales.

The reason I bring these points to your attention is because this week I
have been breakfasting at home and enjoying my American country garden. This
kind of weather combined with the soaring outside temperatures have
necessitated straying away from the US/UK staples of eggs, protein and
starch as covered in last weeks exciting episode. A hot sausage in 40 degree
heat can prove more trouble than its worth.

For advice, I turned to my charming new breakfast companion. For some weeks
now, I have been breakfasting with a small, green Bolivian parrot named Mr.
Bitey. Being a highly amusing, if somewhat cantankerous character, he proved
to be the perfect lab partner as we experimented with breakfast treats until
decisions were made.

A small selection of chilled fruits, fresh from the Frigidaire proved the
ideal cornerstone of the summer outdoor breakfast. Mr. Bitey edged towards
the seedless white grapes whereas I recommend fresh sliced pineapple. A fan
of conference pear or selections of berries make fine substitutes.

Remember, refreshment and coolness are paramount to this light repast so for
protein both Mr. Bitey and I settled on a couple of slices of Virginia baked
ham. Combining subtle sweetness and a savory bite, it commands the mouth the
awaken with the strength of a great Victorian era, „be gone!!‰

Breads and cheeses are to be avoided in this weather, as they will send you
straight from the breakfast table to your daybed. Liquids are paramount. My
fine American hosts do a great thing in the way of orange juice and,
combined with a dash or grapefruit, it replaces vital nutrients lost whilst
paying homage at the courts of Queen Alcohol and Princess Nicotine. Mr.
Bitey agrees wholeheartedly.

I have heard that orange juice can be too acidic for the morning but as
gentlemen and ladies, we must prove ourselves to be master of all we survey,
including out internal organs.

So don your panamas, break out the ostrich feathers, breakfast in a manner
most becoming and damn the heat. If it‚s possible in the colonies, it‚s
possible anywhere.

Until next time,

I have the distinct honor to remain your most humble servant and breakfast
correspondent,

Gideon F Farquharson, Esq.